I’ve always said I am not a competitor, meaning I don’t like to compete. When I think of competing I often think about runners who are running a marathon. I envision their endurance, strength, patience and their determination to never give up. To always go for gold.
Me, I never participate in any competitions. I have simply disregarded them thinking I am not a competitor.
Is my whole life a lie?
I was so wrong! I feel as if my whole life I have been telling myself a lie. Is that so?
I have discovered that I am in fact very much a competitor. I compete for most things actually. But it is not really the competing, it is who I am competing against. You see I don’t really care for winning over someone else. I care for winning over me. I am my biggest competitor.
It is interesting how we go through life having thoughts about ourselves and our behaviors and they turn out to be something different that what we imagined. But a lot of the time we only see what we want to, it is day to fool oneself.
Quitting is not an option
I have always believed everything is possible. I still do. When people tell me to quit I continue. Good is never ok, it has to be better than good. Or perfect. Preferably perfect.
And you see this is the problem I am having. This is what made me realize I am indeed a competitor. because I never give up. I always push a little bit harder. And a bit more. And a bit more. Maybe just a tiny bit more…?
What am I competing for?
I always strive for perfection. That is probably why I have never had a problem with the 100% satisfaction guarantee for my web design clients. Because I want it to be perfect. I want the client to feel it is perfect. That it is exactly what they wanted.
Does that make me a perfectionist?
What exactly is a perfectionist? Where do you draw the line for perfection?
I have discovered I more often than not have undeliverable expectations of my work. With that I mean I want to do it all by myself. Right now. Right here. Have it done like yesterday.
And that is just not possible. There is no way I can get things done like yesterday by just snapping my fingers. I have to accept that I cannot do everything myself. That it is OK to ask for help.
There is also a pressure. As a business owner you need to be everywhere and do everything to show you are around and build a brand etc. The pressure is enormous, no wonder so many quit after a little while. The get burnt out. The stress simply takes over.
Today I heard another story of a burnt out business owner who closed down her business because the pressure got too much. If you feel that way I strongly advice you seek out a business coach or business savvy friend to help you see a bit clearer and make a plan that actually works.
The perfection trap
When you are caught up in the perfection trap you will fall behind. Things will not get done like they should. For me it means that my projects often get half way and then I fall behind or loose interest because it is too tiring to continue. Does it mean I am not committed enough? Maybe. Or maybe I need to work on being less of a perfectionist.
How I realized I was in fact my biggest enemy
I am my own worst enemy.
It can be tough to admit that. I am the reason I am where I am today and doing what I am doing. There is none I can blame for that. I cannot blame it on not having this or having that or what someone did or didn’t do. It is what it is and it will be ok.
I took a hard look at myself and what I did. I started seeing patterns. Patterns of starting, stopping, pushing, pushing and pushing a bit more. And when I started raising the question about me being a competitor with friends they all said “yes!”. It was obvious to them but not to me.
The other day I went to the gym. I did some cardio and strength. I realized I had to actively tell myself to not over do it. To accept that the effort I had put in was enough. That I did not have to push myself to the limit where I could hardly stand. That it was OK for me to be contempt and happy with what I had done. To feel good about the fact that I did almost an hour of exercise. But let me tell you, it was hard. I so wanted to do more. To run a but further, to add more weights to my exercises. I wanted to push myself even more.
And I keep telling myself I am not a competitor? Huh???
In order to be more accepting of myself I need to just let things be OK. It does not have to be perfect not the best ever made. It will just have to be Lindastyle and ok. I do not need to win all the time.
Who are you competing with?
What about you? Who are you competing with? Who is it that pushes you to do even more even though it is enough? Do you secretly with you could have done more.
That your marketing efforts could have been better? That you blog post could have been longer, viral, simply the best ever?
That your traffic skyrocketed just because you have written the best post ever seen to mankind?
That your followers grew by hundreds every day? That your social media accounts sent out an update every two minutes instead of every two weeks if you are lucky?
That the shadow of perfection left you so you could just focus on what you want instead of wishing and whining nothing gets done and time is some stupid invention?
If you are tired of all this I want you to repeat after me.
I am OK.
My work is more than OK.
It is OK not to be perfect.
Perfection does not exist.
I can never be anyone else than I am, I am the best already.
I can improve but I do not need to be the best at everything I do.
My work is perfect.
I accept that I cannot do everything myself.
It is OK to not do what everyone else seem to be doing
It is OK to find my own way to what perfection means to me.
It is OK to be me.
Good is perfect. For now.
From now on forward
I will do what I can, when I can. I will do what I want, not what I am supposed to be doing. it doesn’t really matter that everyone else seems to be everywhere and do everything and have it all. I want success on my terms. I want to do what feels right for me, and that may very well mean not being on social media as much as I “should”. Or perhaps even more (the competitive side of me is speaking).
I suggest you do the same. Think about what platforms you want to use for your business and use them. Have fun. You can still be professional and fun, I promise it is possible. 😉.
Tell me, do you struggle with perfection? Are you a competitive person or do you just not care? I want to hear your stories in the comments below. Thanks for sharing!